Pulp Fiction

We have something we need to discuss.  What to do with the pulp that you’re creating when you juice.  All you have to do is google that phrase, and you will be overrun with suggestions, ideas, and opinions.  No, I’m not telling you to go do that yourself!!  That’s what I’m here for ....I wasted a bunch of time for you so you don’t have to.  See how I am?

What to do with pulp..... You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. There’s uh... pulp-kabobs, pulp creole, pulp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple pulp, lemon pulp, coconut pulp, pepper pulp, pulp soup, pulp stew, pulp salad, pulp and potatoes, pulp burger, pulp sandwich. That- that's about it. 

Not really :)  Well, maybe but I doubt it.  We have not been doing anything with our pulp other than giving it to DH’s captain at work for his chickens.   The captain reports back that the egg production of his chickens has noticeably increased since eating our HUGE bags of pulp (which those birds can devour in less than 10 minutes apparently....little hoggies.)  I would love to say to you “their egg production has DOUBLED!!”  But I can’t because I have no authority or statistics so I’m going with “noticeably increased.”   So it looks like we’ll be getting some eggs in return for our pulp, seeing as how we’re making those birds poop ‘em out more often :)  I have read several times on the interwebs that people feed their pulp to their chickens, and that they have the healthiest birds EVER.  So that's an option if you have cluckers or know someone who does.

DH is out of town for a bit, so he isn’t here to take the pulp to work with him.  HENCE, I will be digging out our big herb garden box, and mixing the pulp in with that soil so it can start composting and getting all nutrified in there.  I will also mix it into the dirt around my plants in the yard so it can start helping them decide to grow for spring.  (They’re trying to but are becoming depressed like their owners because it’s raining so much.  My plants have SAD.  I’ll give them a shot of composted nutrients to try to cheer them up.)   So compost is a where a lot of people's pulp ends up.

I’ve seen people discuss feeding it to their animals, and how much the pets love it.  I wonder if it will give her more energy?

A lot of people use their pulp for baking.  Muffins, breads, etc.  I am not a baker.  Remember, I’m not the pie, cake, cookie eating girl.  We are trying to eat healthier after our juice cleanse, so doing this, when I didn’t do it before, would defeat our purpose.  BUT I think its a fantastic option for the pulp if you DO bake.  (I’m not going to lie and say that I wouldn’t eat your awesome zucchini bread you made with your pulp from juicing.  I would.  I love that crap - it is the exception to my weird no cakepiecookie taste buds.  I just choose not to make it at home because..well, I love that crap.)   I’m throwing in this link here because it sounds yummy - and at the end she talks about turning it into chocolate bread, and although I’m not a fan of chocolate (please don’t stop reading my blog now), I think people might appreciate the versatility of the recipe. (and by versatility, I mean she wrote the words CHOCOLATE BREAD) Use Your Pulp for Zucchini Bread 

If you have a dehydrator, you’re good to go with your pulp options that don’t include baking. (If you don’t have a dehydrator - here’s a link on how to turn your oven into a dehydrator.  No Dehydrator?)  Pulp chips, pulp patties, pulp crackers....lots of recipes out there for these types of things.  You can basically turn your pulp into whatever flavor cracker, chip, etc that you’d like it to be by just adding some spices of your choice and blow drying the crap out of it.  

Today, just for you guys (and since I can’t feed it to the chickens), I am making some Green Patties.  Doesn’t THAT sound appetizing?   I found this video (What To Do With Green Pulp) and followed his instructions (for the most part.)   I started with an OMG, and went from there.   I’m making some Original Mean Green Patties (hereinafter OMGPs.)    

And now we move onto the Pampered Chef tool commercial of my post.  No, PC is not paying me to write this.  (Why the heck not I want to know!??)  

I put my super dry pulp in my 4 cup batter bowl, I added dried basil, sea salt, fresh ground pepper, chili powder, olive oil, fresh parsley that I cut up with my awesome PC salad chopper shears, and added three cloves of garlic with the world's greatest garlic press.  Three??? Yes, 3.  If you’ll remember correctly from previous entries, I love garlic like one of my arms.  I don’t know what I would do without it.

I made sure to mix it ALLL up really well.  The olive oil helped tremendously moosh it all together.  

At this point, it smells good, but looks REALLY gross.  In case you didn't notice.   I then took my large PC cookie scoop (not to be confused with an ice cream scoop), and scooped the OMGPs onto my dehydrator tray.

Then I squashed them out so they were actual patties so I didn't have to change their name.  There are 7 total.  Not just these 4.

And we are dehydrating, People!  (This is where commas are handy and important.  Without the comma, it would appear I that I am Buffalo Bill - We are dehydrating people!!   It puts the lotion on its skin.....)  Sorry, back to dehydrating patties, not people.    Notice my PC cutting board even........

The next thing I want to try with pulp, after I make the OMGPs, will be these chewy critters.  PB Chewies - A Use for Your Carrot Pulp     I think those will be pretty good, and will be a great thing to have on hand.  I don’t have everything I need for those, so I didn’t try those today.  I’ll get back to you.

Now there is an argument of To Use or Not to Use.   If you have a centrifugal juicer (aka A Violent Juicer), you are going to have wetter pulp...(pulp that is more wet??) ....Your pulp will be very moist.  (That sounds better.)  If you have a masticating juicer like we do (aka Slow Juicer), your pulp will be very, very dry.  That in itself may be where the difference lies between using your pulp, and not using it.  Some people feel that the pulp is tasteless, and now nutritionless after juicing, especially with the masticating juicer.  However, the pulp is full of fiber so there is THAT left over whether it’s wet or dry. 

Here is a link to a website where they discuss to use or not to use your pulp.   This person chooses not to and I want you to be able to read for yourself why not.   To Use or Not To Use?    Then on that page, they have a link to another page about the types of juicers, and the result of pesticides in your juice and your pulp if you are not buying organic produce. (Another reason they choose not to use their pulp.)    Agg Chemicals and Pesticides in Your Juice  Good stuff here, people.  Definitely worth a look-see.

After my OMGPs are done getting blown out, I will report my findings to you if  they are at all edible.  If I didn’t have to take an aesthetically pleasing picture of each step for you guys (which if you’ll remember I said I wasn’t going to do....I’m such a sellout), the OMGPs really wouldn’t have taken ANY time at all to prepare and get into the dehydrator.  So cross your juicy fingers (no, that’s not a fat joke), and let’s hope for the best!

(P.S. - I’m feeling a little bit of sinus distress coming on very quickly.  I’ve read on almost ALL of the juicing sites I’ve been on for the last threeish weeks that if you feel that you are getting a cold, that you should immediately start fasting until the symptoms go away.  Yay - spontaneous juice fast.  )